Tips for Creapin' Around Philadelphia With Your School

            My school recently took a 3 day trip to Philadelphia. If you go, here are some great tips:

1. Bring your own blanket on the bus. And sit next to someone who won't be bothered when you fall asleep on them. It will happen.

2. Don't ask the guy that comes to your hotel dresses as Ben Franklin for a special presentation what year it is or if he's the real Ben Franklin. There are some children out there who will do this. Don't be that person. Also, don't waste everyone's time asking him what his favorite color is. Nobody cares that it's green. Really. We just want to go to back to our hotel rooms.

3. Don't assume that, just because it's literally 100 degrees Fahrenheit, your teachers will only take you to places that are air conditioned, because they won't. They will make you walk around the brutally hot Eastern State Penitentiary. Really. No lie.

4. Don't bring a laser pointer and play with it on the bus. Your mean busdriver will make you and your accomplice clean the bus when the rest of us are getting ready for our paddleboat cruise. He will make you do this because he "thought there was an ambulance behind him" and waited through TWO red lights.

5. Don't be stupid and go on the top deck of the paddleboat when there is lightning. Even if everyone is out there. You are surrounded by water and it's not a smart idea.

6. Everytime a circle opens up on the dance floor, be in front. The one time you don't, your science teacher, who you always assumed wouldn't be a good dancer, will go out and dance and be pretty freaking epic. The only reason you will know this is from watching sucky and blurry videos of it.

7. Even if you don't go into the water park at the amusement park on the way home, you will still, somehow, manage to get soaked. It will probably be from leaving your open water bottle, for 2 seconds, on your flip out tray while you position your Dramamine in your fingers to take. You won't mind at first because you're so hot, but when you wake up for a moment from your nap, you will be pretty uncomfortable.

8. Don't sit next to your friend whose pants are soaked, because when she moves, finally, to sit with your other friend who's alone, you won't be able to sit on the inside and use the window as a pillow because her seat will be soaked. You can still stretch your legs onto it, but it's not as comfortable.

9. Don't talk quietly in your bed because the security guard will come in and tell you that you are being too loud and that you need to quiet down, and the next night your principal will come in telling you that you have been written up and that if it happens again that night, your parents will be called.

10. Finally, remember to have fun! Just kidding, that's a terrible cliche tip. The real tip is to make sure you don't get eaten by a shark when you go to the aquarium. They are some scary creatures and don't let them eat you, because then you won't be able to go back to your hotel and eat. And we don't want that, do we? No. We don't.

So, enjoy your trip to Philadelphia, and remember these tips, print them out if you want! Just remember them, because you don't want to not remember them, because that would be bad.